The Good, The Bad, and The Blessed

Last weekend was the graduation of my niece, Angela, from Abilene Christian University. I can't believe that four years have come and gone!!! She has grown so much and is a lovely Christian woman and I am so proud of her!!

She has a special friend, "Paulie", that graduated in May and they seem to be very close!! :) "Paulie's" mother and sister drove all the way from Tennessee to see Angela graduate. Because Ken and I have 3 guest rooms, they were invited to say with us. I really didn't mind but I had so much to do on Saturday that I told my sister-in-law that there was no way I was going to be able to entertain them and that they would be on their own. They were all good with that.

On Saturday morning, my plan was to get up.....make a light breakfast.....visit just a little to be polite....then go and get all my shopping done and errands run. WELL.....that isn't exactly what happened. Once I sat down and visited with "Paulie's" mom and sister....I fell in love with them. They were so kind and we had a lot in common. We sat around, my brother and his family and Cindy and Katelyn, "Paulie's" mother and sister. We shared old Christmas stories, talked about our families and extended families. It was as if we had been friends for ever.

                                                           My new friends....Katelyn, Cindy, Angela and Paul ("Paulie")

Before they came, I had been freaking out about the house and how I hadn't been able to get it all cleaned the way I wanted.....stressing about them being there while I had so much to do to get ready for Christmas. But as we were sitting around visiting, all of my stress and anxiety over getting everything done on my list just didn't seem matter. 

The Sunday before, Jarrod our pulpit minister, talked about Peace as part of Advent. Jesus was born to give us peace.....not to cause all the stress we feel this time of year. Christmas isn't about rushing around to make sure everything is done and all the presents are wrapped and delivered. We celebrate Jesus' birth and the great gift God has given to us. Jarrod encouraged us to slow down and spend more time sharing our hearts with others rather than buying the perfect gift. This is what it felt like visiting with Cindy and Katelyn!! I stayed with them all day and it was one of the best days I have had in a long time. I feel blessed to know them and to call them true friends of mine.

Saturday night we gathered to celebrate Angela and her completion of College!!! It was a lot of fun and maybe a little emotional for her parents but we made a few jokes and they were laughing and smiling again.

On Tuesday, December 16th, I celebrated a birthday. It was a really great day and I felt extremely blessed by all the calls, texts and Facebook messages and posts. I got to spend the night watching my youngest granddaughter in her Christmas program.

                                 Addison was very excited that both Memaw and Granny got to be there to watch

Over the days following my birthday, I felt extremely blessed.....All of our children are happy and in good places in their lives. Our grandchildren are strong and healthy. I was feeling just overwhelmed with the blessings God has bestowed upon me and so very thankful.

I shared my feelings with Ken and we said a prayer of thanksgiving for all that God has blessed us with. But I made the statement that as good as things were, "life" was going to happen again. We live in a fallen world and bad things are going to happen to "blessed" people. God never promised that we would be sorrow free and that we wouldn't have any difficulties. God just promised that He will never leave us or forsake us. 

Now for the bad news....Yesterday Ken and I found out that the biopsy's done on his prostate last week came back positive....Ken has prostate Cancer. Totally caught me off guard....I never expected them to be positive!!! I was very emotional last night and I am really scared of losing Ken to this dreaded disease. Today I am feeling a little numb, still scared, but fearful that the Cancer is other places in his body. I mean.....how can you tell that you have Cancer when you feel so good?? 

On January 8th, Ken will have a bone scan and a CAT scan. This will let the doctor know if the Cancer is contained in his prostrate of if we are dealing with more Cancer spots. We will go back to see the doctor on the 12th to get the results of the tests and hopefully make plans to have his prostate removed the end of January first of February. I ask that you keep us in your prayers and that the Cancer is contained and doesn't show up anywhere else in Ken's body.

As hard as this is, I believe with all my heart that God will take care of this and that He can heal Ken. I believe that God has plans for Ken and for myself and this is just a bump in our journey here on earth.

Until we find out the results of the scans.....I choose to count my blessings......EVERY SINGLE DAY!!! I choose to praise God through this difficult time.....I choose to give thanks for the things God is doing in the lives of our kids and loved ones.....and most of all I choose to love the Lord with all my heart and keep my eyes on Him.

From my corner of the world.....choosing to have a thankful heart!!

FROM DUCKS TO TURKEY

 

Sorry that I haven't posted in a while.....I have been rather down and out.....well......not really.....sort of.......out of routine......well like.....not being connected.....honestly I don't what I have been.....just no ME!!!

I haven't been working since around the 21st of October and I have spent that time....looking for a job.....and spending lots of time reflecting on me, my life, priorities, commitments, my relationship with God.....kind of like a sabbatical of sorts. It has been good and it has been bad....probably more good than bad but there were struggles as I reflected on God's will in my life. 

 

I am happy to say I now have a job....starting on Monday I will be working at Prosperity Bank as a Floater. I will be working as a teller and working in new accounts. I will be traveling to area branch offices working when they have people out. I am looking forward to meeting lots of people and being back in the banking world. Most of all I am looking forward to seeing what God has in-store for this new journey.

 

Those of you that have read my blog for very long know that I am a huge fan of Ducky Dynasty and the Robertsons. I have read all their books. I appreciate their commitment to the Lord and to their family.....two things that I hold dear to my heart.....striving to keep Lord the center of my life and being there for my family.

 

On November 1st Ken and I met our youngest daughter and her friend at Chuy's in Fort Worth. After dinner we went downtown to the Convention Center to hear Phil Robertson and his son Alan speak. We were surprised to see Miss Kay, as she came along on the trip to Fort Worth and made a brief appearance.

 

                                                       

 

Alan spoke first and I was a little disappointed that his time as well as Phil's was controlled by an emcee that asked questions. Miss Kay came on stage between Alan's time and Phil's time. It was a lot of fun to see and hear them speak.

 

 

I realized that when listening to Phil and Alan answer questions, they took every opportunity to speak of God and His saving grace. Phil particularly spoke of God's love and His sacrifice of Jesus for our sins.It was like they couldn't wait to talk about their love for God......something that I really need to work on. It was evident in everything they said and referred to.

 

After the Ducks spoke, Matthew West performed. It was really a great night!!!

For Thanksgiving my brother and his family came to our house and all four of our kids and their families where at our house on Thanksgiving Day. We made lots of memories and ate way more than we should have. 

 

 

After the Cowboy game, Linley, Lukas, Cooper, Kamryn and myself went to see Penguins of Madagascar. Cute movie and we had so much fun!!

Well this brings me up to date. Even though over the last six weeks I have struggled while taking a step back and looking at who I was and was my will inline with God's will, I feel extremely blessed!!!

From my corner of the world....feeling thankful!!!!

It Came Too Fast

If you have read my blog for very long you know that I don't like change. Change is hard for me.....I'm getting better but I still struggle with it. I am okay with the type of change that I know is coming.....I can plan for it.....prepare for it.....and mentally wrap my brain around it. When change comes at me unexpectedly....it's hard, hard for me to make sense of it and to know what God's plan is amongst the sudden change.

I mentioned in my last post that I had resigned from my current work position. I felt called to remove myself from a situation that was not going to change. A situation that I had no control over other than to leave.

I gave a months resignation notice to be affective October 31st. As the  time was drawing near, I felt the need to get my office in order so that whoever replaced me would not come into a mess. I felt I needed to finish projects, get supplies ordered, business cards ordered, make sure all my notes were easy to read and my passwords were written down someplace....I wanted and felt the need to leave things in good shape for the next person. 

Yesterday, my time was cut short....I was told that I was being allowed to use the rest of my PTO time to finish out my time. It was expressed of their concern for me that I hadn't found another job and that they wanted me to use this extra time to be able to look. While I appreciate their concern and the ability to focus fully on my job search.....I wasn't prepared to walk out the door. 

You see.....I still had work to do!!!! 

I didn't have time to get things prepared for my replacement as I had planned.....I didn't get to say good-bye to my coworkers in a way that I wanted....I didn't get to "finish my job" in a manner in which I thought and planned to. 

Through tears I hurriedly packed my office up, loaded my car, and hugged everyone's necks as my time working with them was over.....over sooner than I was mentally ready for. It hurt and I was confused as to the suddenness of my departure. BUT I knew God was working in this and He would use this sudden "change" to make be stronger for Him.

I came home, sat in my recliner and cried a lot....not at the loss of my job...for I planned for that to happen....but for the unfinished things I wanted to do and the sudden goodbyes that I had to say.

I realized in this quiet time, with tears in my eyes, trying to figure out what had just happened......that what happened was a lot like our walk with God.

Let me explain.....

As Christians we know that the Lord will return one day.....in our human mind we think it will be down the road....that we have lots of time to do all the things we want to do for the Lord.....that we have lots of time to prepare our hearts.....to make things right with God. We want to do great things to glorify God and believe that we have time....time to name  Him Lord of our life....time to commit our life to Him.

Yesterday was like a slap in the face....maybe that is why God allowed this to happen. You see friends, God never promised that we would have a week to get out lives in order, to make things right with those we have wronged, to take food to our neighbor that has been home bound for years and you just haven't found the time, to tell those closest to you that don't know Jesus, about His love and what Jesus did for them.

In fact, God tells us He will come like a thief in the night.....there will be no preparation time! We won't have any second chances to make things right! 

Friends, we have to be ready at all times....for God is coming!!

I knew that my last day at my job was coming....just like I know the Lord is coming. I had plans to get things "ready" that I wasn't able to do.....my time was cut short....I had no choice but to be prepared to face leaving.

As Christians....we aren't going to have time to prepare....we have to be ready.....for you see....GOD IS COMING....whether we are ready or not!!!!

Now....today is the time to prepare!

Yesterday, after a good cry.....I felt the need to do something to make myself feel good....to indulge myself....just for me. Well normally I would go buy me a new pair of shoes.....OH YEAH!!!! Love me some shoes!!! 

Since I currently don't have a job, I knew that was not a smart move so I did the next best thing.....went and got me a large Butterfinger blizzard with extra Butterfinger!! IT WAS AMAZING!! Hahahahahaha!!!!

From my corner of the world.....keeping my eyes on God.

Darkness

 

This morning, Jarrod Robinson, the preacher at Southern Hills Church of Christ, spoke from a passage in Mark 5. He spoke about unexpected storms that come upon us in our life.....that throw us into darkness very quickly with very little warning. Jarrod spoke about "life storms" and about the fact that Jesus is the only one that can save us from the "life storms" we are hit with. Jarrod made a statement that just spoke to my heart.....one that I so related to......he said "external struggles always become internal struggles". 

 

There is no way that Jarrod could have known the internal struggles I have been dealing with because of situations and circumstances that were completely out of my control. Jarrod spoke words of comfort to me through God's word that he will never know the impact it had on me.....I literally cried through most of his sermon this morning. I am so thankful that Jarrod allows God to use him to speak truth to people....like me struggling. You see.....God used Jarrod to say things to me that I really, really needed to hear.

Let me explain......

 

I have found myself, over the last 6 to 9 months battling with a situation that I have no control over.....and that isn't going to change. 

 

During this time I have allowed anger, resentment, even hatred to take residence in my heart.....my heart that I gave to God a long time ago. You see, until recently.....the last month or so.....I didn't even know that the Evil One was having a "hay-day" with my heart. I knew that I was struggling and that I was feeling darkness in and around me but I didn't realize the depth of this darkness until about 3-4 days ago.

 

Maybe just a little history might help....less than a month ago I resigned my position with my present employer. I didn't want to do this but felt after a lot of prayer that I needed to remove myself from this situation that isn't going to change and that I had no control over. It was a very difficult decision but one that Ken and I knew needed to be made. We knew this was a huge leap of faith for us....for you see I don't have another job to go to......not yet at least. But even without a new job to go to, I knew I couldn't continue in this situation. Ken was behind me 100%.....and said that we would jump off this cliff together and that he would be beside me wherever I landed. Is Ken not the greatest!!!!

 

It was the first of October when I turned in my resignation. I thought just making that decision would ease some of the feelings that had taken hold of my heart. However, it seemed  they got worse.....I felt more and more darkness and less and less of God's direction and love. 

 

I became so consumed with this hatred, anger and resentment that I looked for ways to get even.....have "my say". I would wake up in the morning angry and just hoping for the chance to speak my mind.....and trust me it would not have been good. One morning Ken said he was going to pray God would shut my mouth as He did to the lions when Daniel was placed in the den. God answered Kens prayers......for no matter how angry I was.....I just kept my door shut for fear of losing control and saying the evil things I was thinking and feeling in my heart.

 

This last week, I told Ken Wednesday night I just don't think I could go into work the next morning.....I just didn't feel strong enough to deal with this situation and I just wanted to stay home. We prayed that night that God would give me peace and a good nights rest.....something that I hadn't been getting which just added to my inner stress.

 

The next morning I didn't go to work.....I used the excuse that I was getting some tests run on my eyes that afternoon and wasn't coming in.....partial truth.....I did have an appointment to have tests run on my eyes.....but I could have worked in the morning. 

 

I felt ashamed for the "half-truth" I told but I was feeling so sad, confused and depressed about the angry words that were going around in my head and in my heart....I knew I had to spend some time with God. I knew that I had to get my eyes focused on God instead of the things that I couldn't change.

 

I not only stayed home on Thursday, but Friday as well. I spent a lot of time in God's word....just randomly opening my bible and asking God to speak to me. I was scared and afraid of the dark feelings I was feeling.....I didn't like this darkness that I had allowed myself to be surrounded in. I cried a lot.....prayed a lot....read God's word a lot. I honestly was scared because before Thursday.....my thoughts were consumed with anger, resentment and hatred for something I had no control over.

 

I NEEDED GOD BACK IN MY HEART AGAIN!!!

 

I knew I couldn't do this by myself but only God could help me walk out of this darkness. So I did the only thing I could think of and that was to stay away from the "situation" and focus solely on God. 

 

I don't share this so people will feel sorry for me or to draw attention to myself.....I share this because I know I am not the only one that struggles with being in darkness.....I am not the only one that struggles with anger, resentment and hatred. 

 

My hope in sharing these things is that I may give hope to those of you that are reading this and are struggling. You see....over the last couple of days I have felt God talk to me....encourage me.....carry me.....give me hope. Hope that I want to pass along to those reading this......those that are struggling as I am struggling.

 

You see, I can't fight the Evil One by myself and neither can you.....God is always there to carry us when we can't walk....He even moves our feet....if we will just stand in the darkness. We just have to stand.....be still.....and ask for God's help.....He ALWAYS has His hand extended....we just have to reach out....even in the darkness!!

 

I found myself surrounded by the darkness of hatred, anger, resentment that I didn't know what else to do but to be still and ask God to come to me.....and Praise God.....He was there the whole time. Just as He is there waiting for others who are struggling in darkness. 

 

God is the only one that can save us and carry us through "life storms". 

 

From my corner of the world.....thankful for men like Jarrod that allows God to use him to speak truth to people in darkness.

MOVED IN A BIG WAY

I just need to share this morning and well this was a good place to do it....and it's my blog! HeHeHe!!!!

My plan was to do my walking/training this morning at Redbud park after I watched Kamryn, my oldest granddaughter play volleyball at the rec center. By the way.....Kamryn made the winning serve!!!!! Just a little proud!!!!

Anyway after the game I moved my car to my usual parking place along the 1.5 mile trail. My goal was to walk 3 laps equaling 4.5 miles. It became very clear to me about half way through my first lap that I would be lucky to make one lap....

You see, this week has been an extremely hard week for me....I have struggled emotionally, mentally and most of all spiritually. Ken and I have felt God lead us to a decision that we.....or I should say "I" have been struggling with....which of course affects Ken. It has been a very difficult decision because of the emotions I have vested. 

I just need to insert here that Ken is an amazing husband and man of God. Nearly every night this week I have lain in his arms and cried.....leaving his shoulders drenched wet....a couple of times I had cried myself to sleep on his shoulder. He would gently roll me over, wrap his arm around me and I never new it until the next morning. I AM TRULY BLESSED BY THIS SWEET MAN!!!

I have struggled with God over this for the past 6-9 months.....questioning Him....pleading with him.....laying this burden at His feet only to pick it back up and try to come up with a solution on my own....only to fail miserably!!

As I began to struggle to make the first lap this morning on my walk, I began to pray.....one of the things I do and benefit the most from walking regularly!! But this time it was different....I turned off my music...pulled out my ear buds and just let it all out....

I  began to name off every burden that I was carrying....all the doubts, fears, the anxiety, the insecurity.....EVERYTHING....that I have been struggling with over the last 6 months. I must have been praying out loud for I began to notice the odd looks from others as I passed them.

At one point I reached up to wipe away what I thought was sweat only to realize I was crying.....I also realized not only had I made it one lap but was well on my way into my second lap. What I realized was that as I began to release my burdens to God one by one.....He was lifting them off my shoulders....one by one. I was being freed of my burdens as God began to give me the strength to take more and more steps on my walk. Not only for my physical walk around the park.....but also for my spiritual walk here on earth.

I immediately looked to the skies and I felt God....yes I FELT GOD'S PRESENCE!!! I smiled and I knew God was smiling down on me at that moment.

I can't put into words how this felt and the amazing feeling it was to realize.....again....that God is always willing to carrying my suitcase full of my burdens....each and every time I lay them at His feet. One of my hardest lessons to learn!!!! God is still teaching me to trust Him!

I made it 2 laps....3.5 miles....only with the help of God. You see....when I started out I felt I would be lucky to make one lap struggling to put one foot in front of the other.....along the way as I began to talk with God and release my burdens did my walk get easier and I got stronger.

From my corner of the world.....thanking God for showing up in a big way this morning!!!!!

Modern Day Miracle

As I sat and watched Dr. Kent Brantley walk up to the podium to make his statement to the media upon his release from Emory University Hospital, with tears rolling down my face, I thanked God for this miracle. Yes God has performed a modern day miracle. God worked through the doctors and medical staff to heal Kent and Nancy of the deadly virus Ebola. For this I am so very thankful!!!!

I have watched and read all of the news stories following Kent and Amber Brantly's journey, I have prayed for them continually. I have been in awe of their steadfast love for the Lord and their faith in God through this journey. I have been moved by their words and their actions but most of all I have been moved by their faith that God will heal Kent. I am thankful to them for the example they have set.

I know they never expected to be where they are now when they went to Liberia last October. But because of their faithfulness to God's call....they went....they lived....and they loved as Jesus would.....through some of the most unimaginable circumstances. They have allowed God to work through them to be Jesus to the people of Liberia.

Over the last month as I have prayed for Kent and Nancy and their families, I have spent some time reflecting on what I am being called to do here in Abilene for God. 

Am I listening to God's voice in my life?

Am I keeping my eyes open to the people God puts in my path?

Can people see Jesus in me and my actions?

Do people around me know that I am a Christian?

I really took a hard look at my everyday walk and what people see in me....at the grocery store in the check out line....in my car driving down the road.....at the restaurant how I talk to the waitress. Do I get so busy in MY life that I can't or don't see the people right in front of me that don't know Jesus. 

I fail every single day to take the opportunities that God puts before me to reach out and show His love. Yet I continually ask God to place people in my path, on a daily basis, that I can be Jesus to. I have asked and not followed His call.

I realized through Kent and Nancy that I don't have to do anything major....go around the world....to be Jesus. Kent and Nancy were doing what they were trained to do....take care of the sick....and were doing it with love for God. I too can be Jesus to the people around me.....those I interact with everyday....work with.....even those that I don't even know.....by living for Jesus every.

As Christians the way we live, the language we use, the way we treat people, all of this is being watched by others....some that are not believers. We are being watched everyday by people that don't know Jesus. Millions of people have followed Kent and Nancy's story.....think of how many people have seen Jesus through their words and actions.What are people seeing in my life that indicates I am walking with Jesus?

I have thought a lot about the people in my life that I have seen living Jesus every single day.....those that have influenced so many others with their love for God. I am particularly reminded at this time of year of the teachers that have lived Jesus to me and to so many others on a daily basis.

I know a lot of school teachers but right now I can think of two in particular that have shown Jesus to everyone of their students throughout the years. One lives in a small far West Texas town and taught English to Jr High student for nearly 30 years (retired last year). The other lives here in Abilene and teaches 2nd grade in a nearby school district. Both of these teachers have been Jesus to their students. They have loved students when they were unlovable.....given hugs to students that never got hugs at home....bought shoes, coats, Christmas presents when they needed them and their parents couldn't afford it....visited them when they were sick....gave lunch money so they could eat.....and most of all they prayed for each one of them lifting their individual names to Jesus. When students left their classrooms at the end of the year.....they KNEW they were loved.....and they KNEW who Jesus was.

Kent, Nancy and the teachers went about their everyday life doing what they were trained to do.....committing their life to Jesus and showing it in all they do! 

I need to be more like these people....I need to be more like Jesus....

From my corner of the world.....

Second Chances One Step At A Time

It's been a while since I posted.....summer has flown by! I have enjoyed having time with family....mainly my sweet grands!! Ken and I went on a two week road trip to Ohio, New York City, Niagara Falls, Philadelphia, and Washington DC. I loved every place except New York City....way too many people!!!! Made me a nervous wreck!!

At the first of summer I started attending a Zumba class at ACU's wellness center. I felt the need to do more cardio and thought this would be the answer. I went for about six weeks....2-3 times a week!! I began to have a lot of pain in my hips.....more than normal with my arthritis. I went to my doctor and he pushed around on the side of my hip where the pain was so intense.....I about came unglued.....I literally told him to stop doing that!!! Good thing we go to the same church and we know each other so well! LOL He started laughing when I swatted his hand away from my hip!! 

He told me that not only was my arthritis inflamed but I had bursitis!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? I told him that old people have bursitis.....he just looked at me and shrugged his shoulders!! 

He gave me anti-inflammatory meds and said to lay off the Zumba for two weeks.....that was the first of July and I haven't been back. I felt totally defeated....here I thought I was doing something good for myself....getting in better shape....and I ended up doing more harm to my body than good!! 

Last week I started walking again....this seems to be the one thing I can do without hurting in my hips to stay in shape! I had decided AGAIN that I was going to take control of my health, my body, and get moving! It seems that I make this decision....start eating better and exercising....keep it up for a couple of months, then something will happen.....LIFE happens....and I fall off the band wagon so to speak and quit going only to feel defeated again. I get discouraged and completely give up on the idea of being "healthy and in shape".....whatever that means at my age.

Today I was walking at the indoor track at the wellness center which is on the second floor and is open and over looks a couple of BB gyms on the first floor. When I came to the last gym on the end I looked down as I passed and the women's volleyball team was practicing!!! I was so excited to watch them.....I played one year for the ACU volleyball team back in the '70's.....LONG time ago!! 

Every time I made a lap around the track I would watch the team.....remembering when I was able to jump like they were, run like they were, bend and stoop like they were!! 

Watching them motivated me to keep up my pace!! I have just started out walking for thirty minutes a day! Not sure how many miles I get in.....it takes 8 laps around the indoor track to make a mile....I can't keep up with how many laps I do.....something about walking and chewing gum......can't seem to walk and count laps at the same time! LOL

Today after the first lap I hit my "groove".....the place when walking or running where your are striding, keeping pace, feeling good completely unaware of others around you.....those that walk/run regularly know what I mean.....you are just in sync and moving right a long! It felt GREAT!!!

Before I start my walk, I set my stop watch on my phone and I stay in the "groove" for 30 minutes then when the timer goes off I usually walk a slower lap to cool down.....rest my weary bones.

Today felt good, but I can't tell you how many times in the last few years that I have started and stopped on the road to a better me!! Every time I stop or get sidetracked I get really down on myself....feeling like a failure completely disgusted with myself and especially feeling old!! I want so bad to keep at it, to feel good physically, to eat better, to have more energy.....to feel young again. I begin to feel older than I am....making me more depressed!!

Having been an "athlete" a good part of my life, I know how it feels to be fit, my body knows what it feels like to be fit. So when I'm not doing some type of exercise and not eating right.....my body doesn't work well and I feel slow and sluggish but once I start......again.....taking care of myself.....by body is HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY!!! You would think that would be motivation to keep it up!

The one thing that keeps me starting over is that I start thinking about my relationship with God and all the times God has given me second, third chances....continually cleansing me with His grace and mercy! He loves me and allows me to make bad choices....fall....He then picks me up and loves me some more!!

This is what I am learning to do for myself.....give myself some grace and mercy.....love me when I fail....pick myself back up....and start over again! It's not easy because I am my worst critic but I know that I am worth the "do-overs".....the second changes.....because God loves me and I am learning to love myself. It's a journey that God walks with me, loving me when I don't love myself....encouraging me to get up off the couch.....to take one step at a time!! 

That's all I can do.....take a step at a time.....and if I stop walking and start sitting on the couch again....God, who loves me more than I love myself.....will nudge me again to get up and keep walking!!!

From my corner of the world.....one step at a time.

A BURNING BUSH

Have you ever just needed to talk to God.....I don't mean through prayer.....talk to Him like Moses talked to Him in the burning bush. To have God see your pain and hurt and to validate your need for His help. To have God give you clear instructions on His plans for your life....just like He gave Moses instructions on bringing the children of Israel out of Egypt.

Moses questioned God in selecting him....how many times have I questioned God's direction in my life....telling God.....oh yes talking back to God....telling Him that I can't do this or that. I am scared. I don't have the talent to perform what He is asking of me. I am too old. I'm not strong enough to do what He is asking. I just can't do this again.....lots of excuses. God and I have some pretty good arguments....well mainly the arguments are one-sided....my side!!!

But through the burning bush God assures Moses that "....I will be with you...." Exodus 3:12

I need to hear God tell me "......I will be with you....". I need to see a burning bush and know it's God.

Through the pain.....the struggles.....tough situations and the trials I have been through....God has NEVER let me down.....NEVER!!! Once again I feel God calling me to step out and follow Him.....trust Him.....believe  the choices I have made up to this point have been blessed by Him. I know that in my head and I feel that in my heart and I love God with all of my being......it's the trusting that God is going to place me where....I have no idea....doing what....I have no idea. Wherever I am directed God will use me for His Kingdom

SO why is it so hard once the first step is made to continue on the path you know that God is walking with you??? Doors are opening.....opportunities are knocking....more than I can answer. How do you know which door is "God's door"?? That's the tough part for me....

SO I wait....I pray....I stay in God's word....I read about the faith of Moses and others that followed Jesus but were afraid.....I check out every opportunity and ask God to shine His light the brightest through the door He needs me to walk through. Whether I think I can go where He shines His light or not.....if God leads me to it....He will see me through it and use me wherever I land!!!

From my corner of the world.....feeling blessed to have the love and support of Ken while I keep my eyes on God walking in His light!

Focus Here

 

Have you ever had a teacher say this in class....maybe toward the end of the class time and they want to get through the material before the bell rings? Or maybe a coach to a team you were on.....you are about to win the championship game....you are already thinking about the victory and the coach is trying to keep you focused on the current game?

 

This morning I was reading in Matthew 6, the sermon on the Mount. I came across verses 22-23 which says: 

 

"The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!"

 

I'm pretty sure I have read this passage numerous times but this morning it hit me right between the eyes. I asked myself where are my eyes focused? Are my eyes focused on the Light, on Jesus and His work? OR are my eyes focused on things of this world and the evil that is in it?

 

As Christians, we must have our eyes focused on God or our light will not shine to those around us. Our eyes reflect where our hearts are and where we are focused. Those around us can either see Jesus and the Light through our eyes or they will see the world and the evil that we see. 

Sometimes, I think that our focus gets blurred. We want to focus on the Light but we think that maybe....a couple of days a week we can focus on what we want.... thinking that "nobody will notice" if I just do this or go here. People, according to this scripture if our eyes are blurred or unhealthy, my body is full of darkness not Light.

We can't have blurred vision!! For if our vision is blurred and we are not focused on God and the Light, darkness slowly seeps into our heart and soul and pretty soon we are standing in the middle of darkness and we have no idea how we got there....our eyes began to adjust to the darkness gradually as you adjust to the sin in your life and pretty soon you don't see the sin but see it as the "norm".....then one day you can't see at all! Sin and darkness have overtaken you!!

Ouch, this verse really stepped on my toes. We have got to keep our eyes focused on God, on the Light, and on shining that light to those around us that are living in this dark sinful world!!

From my corner of the world.....turning my eyes to the Light!!

 

 

 

Week Two

Well the second week of the Spring Style Me Challenge that I have been participating in is over. It was a little harder week for me because Christian Homes & Family Services, where I work, had 3 event fundraisers that I was involved in. Liz Curtis-Higgs was our speaker for all three events. What an amazing woman of God.....I plan to write more about the things I learned from her later.

Okay, here are my outfits for the second week of the style challenge. I had to alter some of the outfits to fit into my busy week. One of the great things about participating in this challenge is that I get digital pictures of the outfits for each day. I will be able to refer back to them and put my own personal style spin on them in the future. LOL

Day 8 - the challenge outfit was a button down shirt, skinny jeans with leopard flats. I subbed a khaki skirt for the skinny jeans.....I don't do skinny jeans!!! LOL I added a scarf to dress the outfit a bit. I also noticed after the picture was taken......the toes on this pair of leopard flats are rubbing off!!

Day 9 - The challenge outfit today was white jeans, bright tank, denim jacket, scarf and neutral wedges. As you can see from the picture, the only thing I wore out of the challenge outfit is the white jeans. I wore a light-weight navy sweater, silver belt, black Born wedges and silver and pearl jewelry. Tuesday afternoon a co-worker and myself had the privilege and blessing to pick up Liz Curtis-Higgs and her husband from the Abilene Airport and take them to where they were staying for the night. I wanted to look a little bit more put together than the tank and jean jacket. I'll save that outfit for another time.

Day 10 - The outfit for today was jeans, button down shirt, scarf and leopard shoes. I completely skipped this outfit. Wednesday was the Abilene Call Her Blessed event with Liz Curtis-Higgs. I wore my green dress and neutral shoes.

Day 11 - skipped the challenge outfit all together again on Thursday. I knew I would be traveling to Fort Worth for our last Call Her Blessed event. I chose a brown toned maxi, an orange top, black belt with black Born sandals. I added my brown denim jacket because it was an evening event and a little more formal. This is one of my favorite outfits.

Day 12 - Well the long week was over and all three events were great. Today's outfit was a stripped maxi skirt, bright tank with a neutral sweater and neutral wedge shoes. Since I wore a maxi skirt yesterday, I went with Thursday's outfit and wore straight legged jeans rolled up, green mini-checked shirt with a scarf and I added a green pair of sandals.

Day 13 - Today's outfit was jeans, stripped top, scarf and neutral flats. I chose a mint and navy stripped top to wear with my rolled up jeans and neutral sandals. It was too hot to wear the scarf. Sorry the picture is so light...not sure what happened. This was a great outfit to wear to Cooper's baseball game!!

Day 14 - Today's outfit was white jeans, bright t-shirt, scarf with metallic sandals. I chose white capris, green tee with brown belt and neutral sandals. The outfit on the right is what I wore to Church that morning....came home and changed into the challenge outfit.

 

Well that was my week two of the style challenge. It was a pretty stressful week but all three Call Her Blessed events were successful and Liz Curtis-Higgs was amazing. Be looking for a post later about the things I learned from Liz.

 

I'm not sure why some of the pictures were a little "hazy"....I may have to talk to my photographer...Ken needs to be a little more professional!!! LOL

 

From my corner of the world....striving for fashion with my passion and thanking God for having this opportunity.

This and That

I am placing myself in a little vulnerable position by posting on here a challenge I am participating in regarding fashion. I know that many of you will be critical of me.....may think that I am being vain or putting too much emphasis on clothes or fashion. I can't do anything about what you may think of me or how I may be judged. All I can do is be myself and that is part of why I wanted to participate in this online fashion challenge.....my passion for fashion.

I follow a blog titled Getting Your Pretty On by Alison Lambatis. She lives in Texas and is a stay at home mom of three perhaps in her mid to early '40's. She woke up one day in 2012 and realized she needed to get out of her "mom rut" of wearing yoga pants and sweats everyday......deciding to "get her pretty on" everyday. Thus began the journey and creation of her blog.

I guess about a month ago she offered what she calls her Spring Style Challenge to her online readers and followers. She charged a very small fee to receive the daily style challenge and fashion tips. When I read this....I was determined to find out more about it. This is how the challenge works. She chooses 18 items of clothing....ranging from jeans to shoes to tops to scarves......she is specific on the type of jeans, the types of tops but is also allowing for every one's own color choices and combinations. We had 10 days to collect the items on the list, and the challenge will last 21 days.

She sent out the shopping list on a Friday and we had 10 days to assemble our pieces. She encouraged everyone to shop in your closet first as many of the items are things we may already have. I had several of the items and used what I had on some to keep from having to buy all new stuff. I did buy a few things to add to what I already had. Here is the shopping list:

1. White pair of jeans (any style)

2. Boyfriend jeans (whatever those are?)

3. Dark wash pair of skinny jeans....No Way!!!!

4. Maxi skirt (stripped or similar)

5. Neutral flat shoes

6. Leopard flats

7. Neutral Wedges

8. Metallic sandals

9. A bright tank top or t-shirt

10 & 11. 2 T-shirts (one white, one stripped....preferably black or navy and white)

12. Button down shirt (1-2 preferred)

13. Denim jacket

14. Denim or Chambray shirt

15 & 16. Two cardigans (1 bright color, 1 neutral color)

17. Neutral statement necklace

18. Floral scarf

Alison gave samples of each item and where to find them. She chose items that could be bought on a budget such as from Target, Old Navy, but also gave suggestions for those willing to spend more. She encouraged everyone to make each item personal and colors that we liked.

After the ten days were up....starting on April 14th we began the challenge. We receive an email the night before with the items to be worn the next day. The day of the challenge everyone posts their full-length photo on a private Facebook page only for participants of the challenge. This was a little out of my comfort area...posting pictures of myself to complete strangers but I was in for the long haul and did it anyway. It turned out that all of the ladies.....I think around 75....all are so encouraging and complimentary. It has been more than I could have imagined and I feel that I have made some great friends this week.

Here is my version of Day 1

This was a lot out of my comfort zone....I have never owned any white pants. I opted for white pants instead of jeans because I can't wear jeans to work and felt I would get more use out of the pants.

Day 2

Day two we were supposed to wear our dark skinny jeans.....that ain't happening....I don't do skinny!!! Because I work, I chose to wear a black pencil shirt and leggings. The rest was all part of the challenge....Cardigan was rust....button down was a light green....and my shoes were neutral.

Day 3

Day three I substituted navy pants for the boyfriend jeans. We were a colorful tank.....neutral cardigan.....statement necklace.....and wedge sandals.

Day 4

I had to change day 4 up a little bit because of working in an office. Instead of skinny jeans again, I chose a chocolate brown skirt that I already had. I did wear some leopard shoes and a scarf with the Chambray shirt.

Day 5

I was able to wear all the challenge pieces today because our office was closed....I worked to prepare for an event next week. I wore straight jeans that hit at the ankle and cuffed them....a suggestion from Alison, leopard flats....black and white stripped shirt and added a pop of color with a coral scarf. Ken has been very supportive of this BUT today he kept telling me that I was "looking good"!!! hahaha! I think he liked this outfit the most!!!

Day 6

Day 6 was harder for me because it was Saturday and the challenge outfit was to wear the maxi skirt with a bright top. Well I had Cooper's baseball game to go to....and shopping to do with Addison my 4 year old granddaughter. So this was my outfit of the day!!

Day 7

Day seven's challenge was jeans with a button down....scarf and neutral cardigan. I wore a dress to Church this morning and changed into the challenge outfit for the rest of the day.

I have really enjoyed this first week. All of the ladies have made each day's challenge their own and have added a lot of fun and encouraging comments to the Facebook page. I hope to post for the next two Sunday's the weeks challenge outfits....just for the fun of it. Perhaps, maybe someone will get some inspiration ideas try on their own.

Okay now just two more pictures.....these are of my precious grand kids on Easter!!!

Addison and Luke....Tara and David's blessings to me!! Aren't they precious??

Kamryn and Cooper....Brad and Whitney's blessings to me!!! Just as precious, don't you think??

Well, sorry this post is so long but I wanted to share about the style challenge I am participating in and I couldn't leave out pictures of my angel babies!!!

From my corner of the world.....counting my blessings and thankful for a risen Savior!!